I'd Love to Hate It
by rainonmonday
Summary: She was clueless. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe she had created her own romance story and was looking for her knight in shining armor, and it wasn't him. Set after 2x09, Sparks Fly.


**Hello, again.  
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**After last night's episode (2x09, Sparks Fly) I got a few ideas (it seems it has happened a lot lately) so here it is. This is from Wade's POV so I don't know if it works. Hopefully, it does.  
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**Thank you for your kind reviews and for reading. I love reading your opinions not only about the fic but also the show because it makes me have new ideas (like RedTailedHawkens, thank you for your feedback in my previous fic). And it's nice to know there are people out there who like Zade as much as I do, despite recent events.  
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Laying there, staring at the ceiling like he had been doing for the past ten or so days, was certainly strange. No, it wasn't just because it was three in the morning and he was exhausted but couldn't get any sleep. It was his brain that couldn't stop working.

At that point he wanted nothing more than not to miss her; than he hadn't gotten used to having her in bed pretty much every single night. Hell, he wanted his green and blue plaid shirt to stop smelling like her and that she hadn't left her earrings on the night stand.

No matter how much he tossed and turned, he couldn't stop thinking about stuff. About her.

Less than a year before, he would've found a girl willing to make him forget after drinking too much but now he couldn't. He just wasn't interested because something in him _yearned_ for being with only one woman. Zoe Hart.

She had really messed up his mind.

Why would he want to be with her after what she had done to him? She was using him as entertainment until the right man came along. Maybe it wasn't George Tucker anymore but surely some other man with a college degree would show up sooner than later. Some guy that would make him look like the hick she had _always _thought he was.

He just couldn't understand how it was so easy for her to talk to him when they were in bed or teasing each other but once he mentioned the word _date_, she lost it.

He had been honest when he told her he wasn't happy. Damn, he hadn't been for a long time but at the time he thought it had been better to have a warm spot in her bed than to lose her completely. So, what if he wanted more than to rumple the sheets with her?

Sighing, he turned on his side. He could see the glow coming from the carriage house, which meant she was probably still awake. Or she had fallen asleep while reading one of her romance novels again. He snorted. He was sure not many men knew that aside her medical journals, she loved having her dose of fictional romance.

It was incredible that, even reading so much about it, she knew zilch about real romance. She was clueless. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe she had created her own romance story and was looking for her knight in shining armor, not knowing that romance (_love_) is something you experience. You have to live it.

She said she wasn't jealous of George and Tansy.

She implied they had nothing in common.

She brought a book to their date because she was afraid they would have nothing to talk about.

Still, she did a pretty decent job whenever she came looking for him. She had no problem at making small talk then and forgetting about the world while she was in his arms.

Perhaps he had just lost his mind.

…

He was hurt. And he was angry and he knew it wasn't Tom's or Cody's fault but he couldn't help how he reacted to them and their stupid jokes.

Bile burned his throat whenever she put a foot in the Rammer Jammer, prancing around in her short shorts and her see-through blouses. And yes, he knew that purple lacy bra with the clasp on the front.

Wanda hurried to Zoe because she might be a little weird but she isn't dumb. She had seen him ignoring the doctor; but he definitely didn't frown.

Problem comes one night he is closing the place and _she_ walks to him, looking all surprised as if she couldn't remember they live in Bluebell, Alabama and places like the Rammer Jammer aren't open twenty-four seven just for her.

"You are closed?" she asks in a little voice because, yeah, tonight is a little chilly and in that dress she's wearing… she might as well be in underwear.

"Seems like it." He gets snippy with Zoe, but it's hard not to when he remembers how she just crossed him off her list of potential candidates for romance based on the fact he doesn't have a college degree or that he never carries more than fifty bucks in his pocket.

"Wade," she drawls as if she's tired. "We are neighbors. If we didn't work out, we should at least be civil about it." Look who came to teach him how to behave. "We were friends before this and-"

"No, see, that's where you're wrong," he spits back because he's sick, _just sick_ of all this crap. "We weren't friends. Never. And you want to know why? Let me tell you, sweetheart. First, you have this idea of me, of what I'm supposed to be, and you don't want to know more about me. You couldn't care less because you think you know it all. Too smart for your own sake. So you got me all figured out."

"What? No! I didn't say that."

"No, of course you didn't. You just treat me like that because I must be too dumb to realize."

"I never tried to do that."

"Well, you did. And it's funny because I thought you were this… amazing woman. Refined but quirky and funny. A little clumsy but so smart and sexy. And I let you think you're this _super_ woman, like your ego isn't big enough. So you used me, like a puppy whenever you wanted to play, but then left me aside whenever you got bored and found someone more interesting."

"You have no right to say this to me."

"Really? Because I think I do." He takes a deep breath to calm down a bit. A sad smirk makes its way to his lips. "I put myself on the line. Whatever you asked for, I did. I – _damn_ – I tried to be the best I could for you. And still you only see flaws in me. Things missing. Isn't there anything good you can like about me?"

And like every time he waits for an answer, she is speechless.

"What are you so afraid of?" His tone was almost sweet. "Are you scared that you can end up liking me, a guy without more than a high school diploma and who's never been in New York? Is that it?"

Instead of looking at him with her usual bravado, shooting him a sassy comeback, she looks down at the ground. "No one has ever tried to impress me. I've barely had dates and most of them were in groups. I've been living in my own world with only one goal in mind but that's gone and if I think about it, it's really sad. So maybe it's not about you or your job or the last book you read. Maybe it's that… I don't know what the hell I am doing.

"It scares me that you can read me like an open book while I… I can't seem to get you even if you write it in neon lights."

He snorts a laugh, which she doesn't appreciate by the look she's giving him. "You just need to stop thinking so much and let go, follow your instincts from time to time. Don't read between the lines with me and just take it like it is."

"Were you really unhappy before, with our deal?" she asks all of the sudden and he can't help but nod.

"Yeah."

"Don't you think it's a sign? Because I was happy to have you with me and go home at night knowing you'd be there but I never realized you weren't as happy as I was."

"No. I just know you didn't want _me_ like I wanted you. I was a consolation prize."

"What? No! That's not true, Wade. It wasn't about that. I just have a problem with changes. I like stability and you're anything but. So I needed rules and… dating, it has no rules, no recipe or procedure that guarantees success. I don't like failing."

"How could you if you don't try? And what's exciting about a life without risks? You could be missing out on so much, Zoe." He sighs, the corner of his lips turning upwards. "What if I am the one you're meant to be but you're too scared of trying, of being wrong?"

"What if I lose you because I'm a horrible… girlfriend? I mean, I was in a relationship for six years and never actually _had_ a relationship."

"More horrible than now?" She snorts a laugh at his words but there's no humor there. "Did you really expect us to be _casually monogamous _forever and we'd be okay like that?"

"Yes?"

He remembers that night he told her what he thought about her life and her search for happiness in all the wrong places. It's still true. She's perhaps not the saddest person in the world but it is sad to look at how lost she is. And he wants to fix her, to take care of her like he thinks she deserves but she has to let him in first.

Funny. All he does in his life is fixing stuff and keeping it together. All he asks in return is a little of it back.

"Zoe."

"I know it's stupid and selfish but… having you made me happy so as long as I could keep you, I was fine. Making things more serious means I can screw things up, meaning no more you or smiles or anything." She finally looks up into his eyes, all vulnerable like she rarely is. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to."

"So? What are you saying?"

"I like you but I'm scared we're not going to work out."

It's like she doesn't know how to be loved or maybe she doesn't want to get hurt.

"I can't keep doing what we were doing so you need to make up your mind. I can deal with things at a snail's pace but you must want it."

"I want to try." She nods meekly. "Start over?" Zoe bites her lip, smiling a little. "But no sex?"

He chuckles. "No sex."

"That's fair. But this will feel like dating for first time. And you'll need to have a lot of patience with me and deal with me freaking out-"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Hey!" She smacks him softly in the arm, making him laugh because it's unthinkable how she can be so natural in moments like this but when her brain is working, things get awkward. "This is hard for me."

"Just one step at the time." He smiles at her, at how she hugs herself because of the cold breeze. "Now, let's go. I'll give you a ride. We can start tomorrow, or Friday at seven after I pick you up." He smirks at the grin on her face.

"You're asking me on a date?"

"Let's call it asking you out. We already know how you react to the… D-word."

She chuckles.

"I'll be ready that day, then. For a night out."

He smiles, hoping that this time things will be better, that he's not mistaken for giving them another chance. "Come on, I'll take you home."

The short trip back to the plantation is spent in silence but is comfortable, with her glancing at him with that little happy smile and him feeling his heart a little bigger.

He offers her to walk her from his place to hers because she's not fond of Burt Reynolds and, honestly, she _could_ get lost that late at night with her luck.

They are walking side by side, making their way around the pond, when he feels her hand brushing against his before her fingers twine with his. It's silly. They have shared a bed but this feels much more serious than those times and just as intimate if not more. He squeezes back to show her gesture is welcome.

When they say goodnight and let go, it feels like there's still hope for them.


End file.
